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19 Apr 2024

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My Rankings of All The #RealHousewives Franchises
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My Rankings of All The #RealHousewives Franchises 

taynement, 5 years ago 0 5 min read 609  
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In this moment in history, you really can’t mention reality TV without mentioning Bravo’s hit series, The Real Housewives of *insert city*. A few have marked their 10 year anniversaries. We have followed their lives and seen marriages, divorces, kids growing, deaths etc. I have been a devout follower since Day 1, even through Miami and DC (RIP. Not sure why Miami was axed tbh). While some have lost their luster, some are still thriving in spite of the inevitable rotating chairs that comes with these shows. Since I watch them all, I have ranked them all and would love to know what your rankings are.

From last to first:

7. #RHONJ

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This might be the franchise with the most rotations. Everything went down hill when it became a family franchise and the family hated each other. It became so uncomfortable for us the viewers to watch. It may be entertainment for us but this is their real life. In addition, Teresa Guidice became completely insufferable.
Star Player: Margaret Joseph – She came in and took no prisoners. Her kind heart shines through in a group of yucksters.

6. #RHOD

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It’s unfortunate that this is ranked lower because the ladies of Dallas do bring it but they are still in their third season. Their first season is a write off as it originally was not going to be part of the franchise but they brought it in season 2 and secured a DVR spot. I think what holds them back is just the nature of their location, you can only do so much when your location is Dallas as opposed to a more metropolitan or glamorous city
Star Player: LeeAnn Locken – My god, she is a terrible person but she is the undeniable star of this franchise. She keeps things moving and her brand of awfulness is truly unrivaled. I mean who weaponizes their sexual assault and suicide attempts in a convo. Yikes.

5. #RHOBH

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Oh, how the mighty have fallen. This used to be one of the top franchises and somewhere along the line (ahem: Brandi Glanville), it sunk to the gutter and became a game of middle aged women playing high school mean girls. Lisa Rinna took it to the dredges and it has not come back. Erica Jayne checked out two seasons ago, so I am not sure why she is still here. Dorit is being protected and they have refused to delve into her drama. Denise Richards was added but honestly, she didn’t add much. This franchise is most in need of a clean out and start from scratch. I have so much angst watching it and none of the joy. They have added their first black woman for next season, Garcelle Beauvais, so let’s see how that goes. Looks like adding C-list working actresses is the new move. My beloved Lisa Vanderpump has left and I am glad she has. Looking forward to seeing who they turn on now.
Star Player: Noone

4. RHOC

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A few years ago I said that the OC comes through with the entertainment season after season and I must have jinxed them because soon after that it became a hot mess. Now, I don’t think it is as bad as the masses say it is, I still enjoy it but it is not what it used to be. I think the common thing is once these ladies cross the line to just plain meanness, it becomes a dud. Kelly Dodd is an irrational human, Tamra is a shit stirrer, Shannon was going through things and Vicky is just the devil. I am not sure I see how it’ll pick up, like RHOBH it needs an overhaul.
Star Player: Shannon Beador – She is an annoying person but a great housewife. She lays everything on the line, no matter how ugly and that’s admirable.

3. RHONY

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Ah, NY. The franchise that keeps on giving. These women are great because they know how to fight AND have fun. They are older women who are still living their lives to the fullest. Dating men, getting drunk, having sex to their heart’s content while also being mothers. Every season feels fresh with a new set of gripes and a friendship dynamic. Bethenny has been a mainstay for a long time so it will be interesting to see how it goes now that she is leaving but it is always a good time with this group.
Star Player: Everyone except Tinsley

2. RHOP

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Round of applause for this MVP of a franchise. The other “black” franchise has consistently brought it since its second season. All the ladies always come to play (well except Robyn) and they come with their A-game. This has been fun to watch them grow and find themselves. Their quips come so quick and easy and you find yourself saying “did she just say…?” Rumor has it that Ashley has been fired and Charisse has been brought back as a friend. I quite like Ashley and think she is a good addition. I hope they don’t lose steam and continue to get better.
Star Player: Giselle for the move along and Karen for the one liners and its delivery.
  1. RHOA
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My beloved RHOA has lost some steam in the last few seasons and I think it is a casting issue. I don’t think Eva and Shamari were particularly good additions. Phaedra is a despicable person but she was a good cast member. Kenya was sorely missed and I am glad she is coming back. But the beauty of ATL is the combination of the fun and laughter, the glam, the clapbacks and the non stop real life drama. I have always disliked Nene and Kandi is my fave of all time. I always look forward to seeing what the dynamics are with each season that comes.
Star Player: Porscha – Who woulda thunk? But the evolution of Porscha has been a sight to behold. Still dumb as rocks but she seems to have come into her own. Last season was pretty much the Porscha show and she is hilarious!

Well that’s my list people. What do you think? How would you rank and who would be your star players? I’d love to know!

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taynement
Lover of all things pop culture. I see, I think, I write. TV is the favorite child. Reality Shows are my guilty pleasures - without the guilt. So just pleasures? Award Show season gives me a high. Chit Chat with me on anything popculture. You can find me via: Twitter - @taynemendotcom Instagram - @taynementdotcom Email - Taynement@gmail.com Available for freelance writing and sponsored posts.

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