Empire: Season 2 Episode 3 

So this week finds Lucious out of jail and ready to wreak havoc in the lives of his nearest and dearest.

Hakeem is still enjoying some “personal” time with Valentina. And Cookie stresses the importance of his impending interview with radio personality, Sway. He performs “We ‘Bout To Blow” which is blessed with Timbaland’s signature beats. And I can’t even lie, it’s hot.

Lucious summons his entire family to dinner and gives them all a chance to apologize for trying to take over Empire. He offers forgiveness in exchange for the dismantling of Lyon Dynasty because after all, they’re family. Cookie lets him know exactly what she thinks of this by leaving and dragging the spectacular dinner centerpiece along with her.

Lucious then sets his sights on Anika and he also offers her a place back at Empire if she’ll turn her back on Lyon Dynasty. However, Anika (who is really making me like her this season) instead colludes with Cookie to ruin Lucious’ “welcome home” party with a surprise performance by Hakeem and Timbaland. Cookie interrupts Jamal’s performance with Pitbull dressed in perhaps her most outlandish outfit yet (she’s wearing a top made entirely out of thick 80’s style dookie chains, with a matching choker…) and introduces Hakeem’s performance with Timbaland, which succeeds in bringing the house down.

Andre makes one more attempt to appeal to Lucious’ good side and he’s once again rebuffed. Lucious tells him that his only chance to be welcomed back into the fold is if he brings him something monumental. Andre instead tries to appeal to Lucious’ paternal side by telling him that he’s about to become a grandfather. This fails spectacularly because Lucious just asks him if he’s not worried that he’s going to pass his defective mental genes to his child. He throws him out for attempting to use his unborn child as leverage and we’re treated to yet another flashback of Lucious’s childhood with his mentally ill mother, played by Kelly Rowland.

Fresh off the high of giving his children a few more mental scars, Lucious sets his sights on Frank Gathers’ daughter Freda a.k.a “Young Ma” (these names people!) who is a talented, albeit extremely raw, rapper. He plans on basing his return to power around the rapper and pulls out all the stops to get her to Empire. He goes to the hood to personally persuade her to sign to Empire and becomes embroiled in a shootout started by Young Ma after she takes issue with a rival battle rapper. This once again brings Lucious in the crosshairs of the prosecutor Ms. Ford and she lets him know that her desire to see him brought to justice for murder hasn’t abated one bit.

Jamal is still inexplicably Lucious’s puppet. Seriously that’s all I have to say about Jamal. His character spends the episode sulking from location to location and he does absolutely nothing of worth or note.

Hakeem and Cookie are struggling with their girl-group, which is now called “Mirage a Trois” instead of the equally horrendous “Rainbow Sensation” -____- , and the main problem is of course our darling Valentina. Little Ms. Diva lets Cookie know that she’s capable of being known for her talent instead of being Hakeem’s current bedmate. Cookie, who is now apparently a talented choreographer, whips Mirage a Trois into something resembling a worthwhile group and prepares them for a radio interview with Sway. However Lucious, in payback mode crashes their party and lets Cookie know that not only has he managed to buy his way into major ownership of all the urban radio stations in the city, he’s also signed Valentina to Empire. However, Cookie reminds Lucious and us that nothing he does will stop her and Lyon Dynasty.

So we all wait with bated breath to see how Lyon Dynasty will bounce back from this huge setback next week. I’m not worried one bit because if anybody can make the best of a bad situation, it’s Cookie. After all, in her own words- “nobody can keep Cookie down.”

written by Altius Tendo