Love and Hip Hop Atlanta Season 3: Episode 1 

After what felt like forever, our favorite ratchet show returned for another anticipated season especially since the debut of Mimi and Niko’s snoozefest of a sextape. The season started with a view of Stevie J’s 18,000 sq ft house that he calls the White House, with him tinkering on the piano keys. We are shown that Stevie and Joseline are together and not just together but, married together. Joseline wants us to know that she and Stevie split the bills “feet-y, feet-y”. Joseline is bitching about not having a dream wedding, Stevie sidetracks her and says they should have a joint post marital birthday bash since their birthdays are a day apart. Scene ends with Joseline twerking for Stevie. Kirk and Rasheeda are shown next. She has had her son, Carter but she is still mad at Kirk saying nothing else is happening besides coparenting their son. Kirk says that he was going through things then. We see, Mimi the Cry Wolf saying she is over the whole Stevie deal and Niko the creep comes in behind her and in the most staged scene ever they discuss their sex lives as Mimi says she is comfortable enough with him and Niko says he likes how she turns up when the red dot comes up and that she is his best friend. They end with them kissing *barf*

We see a white girl acting a fool on stage popping champagne and we are introduced to a new cast member Wacka Flacka and his girl, Tami. He tells us how rolling with him is not easy and he’s put her through things with the ladies. He also didn’t believe in buying a ring and instead matching tattoos. Scrappy is playing basketball with his new chick who happens to be Bambi. Who you may remember from BBWLA and messed with Benzino. Scrappy says he is trying to see how she would be as a significant other because “how many girls can you smash and then go shoot hoops” with. Bambi is trying to get exclusivity but Scrappy keeps dodging and doesn’t give a straight answer. Mimi meets up with Erica and Ariane for girls night out. Ariane updates us on her love life, letting us know she’s still gay and she has a new love. Erica lets us know she has a new love called, Oshe who apparently is a “super sexy red-bone”. Ariane asks Mimi if they got married and Mimi says she didn’t see a public record marriage certificate and if its true then she should know. Ariane asks Mimi if she would be okay if she went and Mimi said she doesn’t give a f**k. Erica and Ariane aren’t thrilled that she’s back with Niko. Mimi asks them if they ever met a sex tape and tells them that she made one. Erica says no, no, no “you can’t give these low budget n****s anything to hold against you”. They both express their concern but Mimi says she trusts him and that’s that.

Rasheeda comes to have lunch with Tami and her soon to be mother in law who seems to be a controlling person. Rasheeda tells them how Kirk was there when she came down with pneumonia and they encourage her to work things out with Kirk. Creepy Niko and Mimi are on my screen again. Niko tells her how his bags were stolen from the Bahamas and his camera was in there and media takeout has got a hold of the story. Mimi suddenly starts crying, Creepy Niko is calm as a rock and says there’s nothing else to do but capitalize on the situation and Mimi loses it. Her first thought being what Stevie will do and say. Mama D is err having a staged flirtation with a bar tender as Scrappy comes to introduce Bambi to him. Mama D is not having it and says that Bambi is sleeping with someone else in LA. She continues and tells Bambi  that she needs to know that he has more than one egg in his basket. Scrappy looks so confused and tells us he was on some Scooby Doo type stuff and was like “errggh?” They all seem confused about her egg metaphor and didn’t get it and they walk out.

Rasheeda and her mom are together and Kirk walks in and scolds his mother in law for kissing their baby on the mouth and spreading her germs. They get into it as his MIL says why he is suddenly taking up for the baby when it wasn’t his before. Kirk implies that he doesn’t know if the baby is his and he will find out if it is. The egg business is still not over and Bambi rides her pink bike over to question Scrappy about “the eggs” and asks for his phone. Scrappy says no. Scrappy says he is not ready for a relationship and she says she loves him and he is “madly in care with her”. Joseline and Stevie’s post marital birthday bash is on and popping and Erica and Ariane are in attendance and in the middle of Stevie eating cake of Joselyn’s boobs, ask about their marriage to see if it’s fake or not. Ariane and Erica deliver a stripper pole gift from Mimi to Joselyn. She gets pissed and leaves. Stevie the good husband goes out after her and realizes she’s gone, without skipping a beat he asks Benzino if he wants to go to Magic (strip club). I gotta say I like Stevie and Joselyn together.

Joselyn is in her lingerie and Stevie walks in. She tells him that she wasn’t having fun and she wouldn’t entertain his shenanigans and won’t take them questioning her marriage and she fights. Stevie says his wife can’t be fighting. She goes on and on and on and I actually feel bad for Stevie. They argue mouth to mouth and you can just tell that they have great make up sex ahead. And so ends the return of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta.